For Jimmy Kimmel
Hi Jimmy Kimmel,
So glad you're here!
Click the link on the right to check out my annotated resume.
If you're not Jimmy Kimmel, that's ok.
You should also consider hiring me.
Confused? Watch the video below.
What can I do for you? Here are a few things:
- Scrub the floors
- Digital marketing
- Lead group exercises
- Lead group exorcisms
- Microsoft Office
- Cyber-bully your cyber-bullies
- Harvest crops
- Hype up your audience
- Punish any non-laughers
- Slander other late night hosts
- Get your coffee
- Watch documentaries (even the boring ones) and write synopses you can read before attending fancy parties. You can then talk as if you've seen the films to impress partygoers with your worldliness.
- Social media
- Tattoo removal, kind of
- Update your LinkedIn
- Give rousing, Braveheart-esque speeches
- Make copies